EXAMS!

It being the season for exams it puts me in mind of mine all those years ago. 30 years ago I had a geography exam and we were in one of the French classrooms supervised by Mr. Foster who later retired early, or was he pushed? Rumour has it he hit a kid and seeing as his nickname was Hitler I am not surprised by these rumours. The exam was set out with individual exam tables. You know the sort, very lightweight affairs which folded flat for easy storage. Well, half way through the exam I was busy orientating my ordnance survey map, like you do, when I spotted a boy behind me watching me closely. As I picked up my map and turned it clockwise he did the same. Unfortunately, he had also picked up the exam desk and him, the desk, the char, his water bottle and his pride clattered to the floor in an almighty crash bang wallop! Classic mayhem! It was hard to settle down after the laughter and Peter Foster nearly had a stroke with temper! I actually survived to pass with an A grade! Such fun! ( as Miranda's mother would say!)

Other exam memories are the one when I had 2 full packets of sugar free mints in and English exam and had the trots! In and out to the loo all morning. Passed with a C!

And having a May birthday led me to have exams on it. I had my French oral on my 16th, 18th and 21st birthdays. Now take you minds out of that sewer! I was a good Catholic girl!

HELLO STRANGERS!

It's been a while because I am now not a daily supply teacher but an employee of one school. I don't feel I can carry on blogging as everyone knows the school I work in.

So I will just keep it general about life and stuff!

Over half term I didn't do much really but it flew by. The weather was good which made a nice change but it's even better now we are back in work. Typical! It made me laugh to think about all the women up at 6.30 frantically trying to find something summery to wear. I was a good girl and ironed all my summer gear at the weekend. It was such a good day today that I felt bereft because it was such a waste of a sunny day and I didn't even have any washing to do! I could have stripped the beds but my eldest was still in his and that would have been cruel! Even I wouldn't stoop so low!

The week ahead will be busy and insane Tuesday is back with a vengeance. I have a full day in school plus choir and then Ciaran has a party followed by cubs which dovetails with my swimming club meeting. Eating may or may not happen but I am sure I won't die. Jean, the swimming club meeting hostess with the mostest, always bakes so I will stock up on cake!

Next weekend looks pretty busy as I will be polishing my halo for sainthood by attending 2 masses on Sunday! One at Lowe House leading choir and one at my school's parish church for the communion/confirmation of year 4. Don't get me started on the insanity of the the reordering of the sacraments or we will be here all night!

On the whole life is pretty average just now. The only pain in the bum is Liam's exams which seem to be never ending! Then he has his prom for which he has finally got a suit after much persuasion to enter a shop and try clothes on. What is it about teenage boys and clothes shopping? He loathes it! I am not exactly in love with it myself but I go if I have to!

The youngest is living in a different climate. He just asked me to shut the back door that he is freezing and it is boiling outside and in! Must be because he is so thin! He needs fattening up! He eats like a pig but doesn't show for it. Lucky thing! Despite losing 3 stone I can't seem to shift the last stone. Short of wiring up my jaw I don't know what else to do. Now, now, I heard that! No, it would not give you all a bit of peace and quiet!

Well it seems I am back into the swing of blogging again and I hope you enjoy it! Maybe I will get a few more followers!

January jaunts

January is a busy one for the supply tribe. The worst of the illnesses strike post Christmas and we deice our cars and get stuck in. I went to a new school on the limit of my area and loved it. Polite children, organised staff and a fun day was had by all. I love juniors and this was a junior school. The youngest were 7 and the oldest 11. They all have a sense of humour and know right from wrong. Just one poor kid with aspergers couldn't cope with a change to his routine. I felt sorry for him really, but we muddled through and by the end he was joining in with the others. The ice has melted now and it's wind and rain instead. Do I prefer ice? No, it's cheaper to heat the house on mild, wet days! Time to dig out the waterproof trousers methinks! You always get landed with playground duty on supply! TTFN!

New term

The new term is upon us and I am raring to go after a restful summer off with the kids. A lovely week in Anglesey with enough sunshine for 2 days on the beach. Very unexpected for August in the U.K. but most welcome. My youngest son did some horse riding and decided to have some lessons for a birthday present. I have a feeling that it is going to cost me even more than the usual trip to Smyths but at least I haven't got even more toys than usual to tidy up!

Getting ready for going back to school is so much easier being on supply. No boring INSET days and no hours of planning to do. I just need to check my working clothes are pressed and my shoes are clean, basically. I have collected loads of worksheets during last year and don't need any more. The children are easy to sort this year as no new shoes needed. They got some in May for Ciaran's communion. Liam needed shirts and Ciaran hasn't grown out of last years uniform yet!

It's all going too well. I'm just waiting for the disaster to come now! I wonder what that might be and how much will it cost?

Liverpool humour

Had a laugh today in Liverpool! On the way in you pass the Showcase Cinemas and the kids go there a lot. At the end of each music lesson I ask for volunteers to do a showcase of their talent. One lad said " Mrs. Bowyer, are we doing a cinema today?" It took me a few seconds to twig that he meant a showcase! Did we laugh!

Liverpool kids

Really enjoying teaching music in 4 Liverpool schools 3 days a week! I have discovered that Liverpool kids are inherently musical (apart from the odd one or two) and very keen and willing to join in with most things I throw at them. Had a bunch of Y5 singing and dancing to Status Quo today! They were very shy at first but head banging by the end of the lesson! It's very tiring and physically demanding but I am loving this assignment! Samba is a bit of a nightmare because it's so loud and very distracting to the other classes in a primary school! I doubt I will make a habit of doing it but the teacher wants the class to do a piece for the leavers' service. I hope that doesn't mean that the audience will all leave with banging headaches! I went to bed when I got home on Tuesday with 2 anadin! The other awful thing is that opposite the school is a Next Clearance shop that I had to visit! Well, you can't not! Got a lovely dress for £12! I think it really suits me and I don't really do dresses. It should have been £45. I couldn't not buy it! I took a chance because they don't have fitting rooms. It looks ace and I am really chuffed. It was worth the headache!

The unexpected!

On the ferry to Seacombe we were just catching a few rays and chilling out when we noticed a family having a religious ceremony over the other side of the deck. On a very windy day they were attempting to scatter the ashes of a loved one over the side of the boat. It wasn't proving easy due to the gale blowing and the bunch of noisy teenagers cavorting around. Some of the ashes went into the river but just as many were scattered over the family themselves! I think I would rather have looked at the weather forecast and waited for a calmer day myself! Not quite what I expected on a day out!

winding kids up

One of my favourite things to do is wind kids up! Yesterday I had a music lesson in Widnes. So, I taught them how to play "Oh when the saints" on the glockenspiel! Why no? It's  a religious piece of music  isn't it? It was hilarious! They took it in great spirit and gave it their best shot! I have loved it back in Widnes! The age of the kids is perfect for me. Aged 9-10 they are old enough to cope with humour but young enough to have respect! I hope they ask me back!

punishments

Today was a wild one in school! It wasn't just my class. Everyone said the same thing. I have a theory about windy days winding the kids up. Plus, wet lunchtime does not help! Also we are left with pathetic punishments like " Copy out of the dictionary!". In my day it was kneel on the coconut matting under the head's desk! I remember one teacher who used to put his giant set squares to good use. The offender had to wear them on his ears (always a bad boy!) and be paraded round the school for mass humiliation! The worst one was when the teacher lined us all up for the cane outside his room. I was last and had wet myself by the time it was my turn. Out they came one by one clutching their palms, faces grimacing in pain. I went in to discover it was a ploy and he only hit the desk! I am still traumatised to this day!

What about you? Any classic punishments inflicted on you that you would like to share?

Weekends

I believe that I have experienced a weekend for the first time in five years! I had the Friday feeling and now I am going through the Sunday evening feeling! Not having worked full-time for 5 years I had forgotten those feelings and what a real weekend is! True I have only done one week so far but they want me back next week too! So now I am getting the Sunday roast and ironing shirts in preparation for another full week at the chalk face! Well, not quite as we haven't used chalk for some time! I have coped well with one full week and the next one is followed by a week's holiday. Let's see if I am still in one piece at the end of this one!

Enjoyment

At the moment I am really enjoying myself! I am in a lovely school with super kids for 2 whole weeks. I know all their names and we are having a ball. Today we had Peruvian visitors and I did a Spanish lesson. At the end of it the kids could converse with them. So authentic! I have a lovely teacher in the other class to help with planning and a fab T.A. too. Who could ask for more? It's assignments like this that make the rotten ones fade from my memory!

Also, the prospect of two full weeks' wages is wonderful! Having worked just one day in April I was losing the will to live. Now things are on the up. If I make a good impression in this school there might be more work there. I hope so!

I had a bit of a shock though. One of the teachers is a former pupil of mine! Boy do I feel ancient!

What is it about parents?

What is it about parents being blind to their children's faults? Why do they believe every word that their children tell them? How come they are always the victims as far as their parents are concerned?

Today I was teaching a toe rag who gives as good as he gets. He goes out to dad with a sob story about being bullied. Utter rubbish! He had his dad hook, line and sinker. I met him yesterday and sussed him out as a lying toe rag with a persecution complex! I soon informed his dad of how he retaliated or went on to instigate bullying on others. As soon as I met dad I realised from where he had learnt his talent. What a big ignorant thug he was. He had no respect for any of the female teachers he spoke to, including the head! Like father, like son!

You know you're a catholic when.....

Oh dear! Catholic guilt has spoiled my day! I realise that being a supply teacher has a touch of the vampires about it! I hang around waiting for people to be sick so I can work in their place! I am delighted to hear that the class teacher I am in for this week is off till half term! However, good old catholic guilt slips in to the equation and I feel bad at her expense! I should be used to it by now! I suppose I should look a t it a different way. I am minding her class for her and giving continuity until she returns fit and well but I can't help the guilt. It is inbred in us catholics and we can't shake it off no matter what!

We feel the urge to genuflect on our way to our theatre seat and we have to confess our sins as we can't hold them in! Someone said on May 4th Star Wars style:" May the 4th be with you" and I had to reply: "and also with you" like the sign of peace!

Must go and say the rosary before bed!

Beautiful UK

I have not blogged in ages! Maybe because there were only 7 days in April that I could have worked and I did only one day! Just when I started to panic I got a call for the rest of the week in Y4, so watch this space!

In the meantime I have been away with friends walking in Wales! How beautiful is the UK! We so do not need to go abroad! Angelsey is a particular favourite of mine! The coastal walks are stunning! It is especially good going with a big group of friends! You cannot get fed up of people when you can chat with dozens each day! One guy who goes, bless him, will chat with you for a while and later in the day you catch up to him again and he tries to continue the conversation you were having a few hours ago! How does he remember? He is the one who helped our evening sing-a-long keep going by telling truly awful jokes! He has a memory for things that really should be long forgotten! He often says to me that he never expected to still be single at his age and I am too diplomatic to say that I am not in the least surprised that that is the case!

We had quite a mixed bunch of people on our weekend away! One person that I find quite boring myself turned out to be a superstar and I like it when people surprise me in a good way. One friend was particularly inebriated and pronounced that he loved us all and if he died that night he would die a happy man! Following this he smashed a glass and tipped a packet of crisps on the floor!

The funniest thing during the weekend was a DVD of a group of men queueing for the toilet, holding on like Michael Jackson does and dancing Riverdance. It may be on you tube. It was absolutely hilarious! Much laughter took place over the weekend and although I didn't sleep well I had a great time. Today I prayed that the phone would not ring to do supply! Luckily it didn't and I had a good rest! I am glad I did as now I am working for the rest of the week! Hopefully I will have some blogworthy stories to tell by Friday!

Catch you soon!

Curses! Why did I mention the sunshine?

Typical! Just when I shaved my legs, painted my toe nails and got out the summer clothes, sandals and handbag the heavens explode with a rainstorm, the temperature drops and the wind starts whistling! It must be my fault putting the kybosh on the summer sunshine! I am one of those people who takes a brolly but it doesn't rain and vice versa! It has brightened up a bit now but I bet the heating will be back on later!

I seem to have noticed my sons are growing up really quickly during this holiday. They are fighting less and Ciaran is less clingy and inclined to cry. They are not driving me mad and I can honestly say that I too am having some peace as they get on with each other or do their own thing in a mither-free way. I can actually read a chapter of a book without hearing Ciaran shout "mum!"

Also I am not having the usual trouble getting Ciaran to go to bed when it's still daylight! He is so worn out at the end of an action-packed day he is asking to go to bed and sleeping until about 8 a.m. (unheard of!) With all this peace and tranquility you would think I would be motivated to get stuck into the ironing pile generated from the holiday - maybe tomorrow!

Sunny Holidays!

I literally can't remember the last time sunshine and the school holidays coincided! It's brilliant! The kids are easier to entertain in fine weather which means I get more of  break too! It's also great not having any planning to do! Supply really is fab! After our short break to Center Parcs I am looking forward to some days out next week We will hammer our National Trust card as well as our Martin Mere card this week. Really well worth the money for those! We always have somewhere to go! Obviously my long-suffering hubby will be at work but the boys and I will picnic ourselves to death this week if the weather holds. Hopefully starting with Formby and the squirrels tomorrow!

School Holidays

For many teachers the holidays are the main reason why they teach! We seem to stumble from one holiday to the next in a frenzy. I can't believe it's six weeks since the last one! This is a strange holiday, however, our first ever spring break to not include Easter. Then we have a succession of bank holidays leaving us with only 7 days of April that we are actually in school for. That would thrill me ordinarily but being on supply means no holiday pay! Yikes! That means I have time on my hands but a tighter budget than ever! I am challenging myself to survive it in one piece. I suppose I stocked up on a full week last week to help me out a bit but still it will be tight!

Look out for me in the park a lot, using my Martin Mere and National Trust cards and generally being frugal! I will become quite good at frugality I think and get very obsessive. I might splash out on a trip to Alton Towers but only if I can get discounted entry tickets. I am already brilliant at mending clothes etc. and fortunately Ciaran is not on a growth spurt and Liam seems to be slowing down too!

I plan to have a hassle free fortnight in which everyone gets on with each other and we don't overspend! However, the best laid plans.........

What does OFSTED know?

Having been on supply now for 7 months I feel it is time to question the judgements made by OFSTED. Schools get a few days' notice before OFSTED visit and they can tidy up, mark books, complete planning, warn and threaten the children, ask the worst ones to stay off and freshen up displays, etc. When I visit I see what really goes on. I can see them as they really are. Pay me to inspect them is what I say! I have been in enough staff rooms to hear what they really think about the kids. I have seen enough displays of appalling behaviour from children to paper any display wall. I have marked hundreds of books with many unmarked pages before my bit! I was in a class room today with French words stuck on objects stating "Le chaise" instead of "La chaise" and worse! It takes two minutes to check a spelling and years to undo errors that have already been internalised! I love getting on my high horse about these things. I remember being in an Indian restaurant and telling the waiter that lentils doesn't have an a in it! The best one was at Fleetwood market. Beautiful "satan" pyjamas were on sale! At least they were red satin!

Today I was in an area still in my home town but far away from suburbia. Not nearly as affluent but the children still had manners. Obviously, in my opinion, you can tell when a school has high standards of behaviour and the area does not matter one bit. It is a church school, however, and that can make a difference (but not in every case). Two lovely days in a school deemed satisfactory by OFSTED, where the children have manners and try their best and the curriculum is fun and challenging. The staff is hard-working and helpful too. Maybe it's the SAT's results or something that lets them down but I certainly thought it was good at least! But what would I know!

Real Teacher

I feel like a real teacher! I have had the same class for 4 days straight! I know all their names and I am quite enjoying it. They are no angels but they now know where they stand with me and they said they are getting used to me. I have all the advantages and none of the disadvantages. I get to build a relationship with them but no-one is standing over me looking for plans. I will not have to suffer observations and I will not have performance management reviews. Plus I get paid a decent daily wage too! I feel less tired today and I think I am getting used to it! Roll on next week for possibly more of the same!

I was tearful today in assembly. A group of special needs adults came in to dance for us. It was beautiful! They had performed as part of the Narnia exhibition at St.George's Hall. They linked Aslan's death and resurrection with that of Christ. I had never thought of that before. It was very moving indeed! The dancers really enjoyed doing it as their smiles were beaming. I love days like today and the sunshine helps too! I always feel better when the sun shines. Even if I am in work and I can't really enjoy it! Hopefully it will last!

When the cats away.....

Isn't it amazing! Doing supply on a comic relief day makes you think you work in a holiday camp! If it's comic relief day and the boss is out, well.....! Extra long playtime, comic relief assembly, extra hymn practice, etc.! All the jollies come out of the cupboard. But, we have to ensure that something is in the class books every day! It would seem that a sticker with a learning objective plus photos of the class doing an activity related to the week's work will often suffice! I am not saying that every school is the same but there are days when you wonder if you are in an educational establishment or Butlins!